My post about how Jamie and I used to be cool got me thinking about the weird little things that totally make my day now that I’m a mom. While I don’t think this list is going to be upping my “coolness” factor anytime soon, I know I can’t be the only one who wants to make a jubilant Facebook status update whenever these things happen:
10. Construction vehicles. If they are actually moving and Mace is in the car with me, I just may pee my pants with excitement. “Look, Mason, look! The digger is digging dirt!!! Look quick! Look quick! And the crane is lifting a bar! Out your window! The window! No, your window! Look!”. Thank god we live near a major road construction project so we get to see this stuff all the time. I’m thinking of buying a dribble pad for the driver’s seat.
9. Going an entire day without getting spitup on my left shoulder. Note that I’m still allowing for spitup anywhere else on my body. My expectations aren’t high.
8. That feeling of freedom when you go to a grocery store without your kids, and realize you can actually use the small, child-seat-less shopping cart to whip around with. The way it corners, how light it is to push …. pure luxury. I feel like fist-pumping other shoppers the odd time I get to do this. Even sadder, I actually want to jump all up in other mom’s faces who are stuck with their kids and yell “Boo-yah, suckers! My kids are home right now, and I get to be trippin’ all by myself! Enjoy your nightmare, beotches. I’m out! Peeeace!”. And then smash a bunch of carts with my foot on the way out the door, because thats how I roll.
7. Police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks. For the same reasons as #10 above. Bonus points if their lights and sirens are on. I damn near wet myself with happiness.
6. Any car ride that does not result in a screaming baby.
This is really only since Avery came along, because man … Does she have a set of lungs on her. And she detests the car. So put 2 + 2 together, and you’ll get an idea what most of my drives are like. The above picture is akin to photographing Bigfoot in its’ rarity.
5. Using the bathroom for as long as you like, without interruption. I don’t think one can truly appreciate the freedom of peeing without a baby on your knee or a toddler asking “What you doing, mom? Can I flush?” until you’ve had kids. Its a long-lost art.
4. A successful car-seat-to-crib transfer. You know what I’m talking about. The stress-level of the transfer is akin to that scene from Mission: Impossible where Tom Cruise drops in from the ceiling. Every move calculated, dripping sweat, serious stealth-mode …. its a risky endeavour but when you’re successful, its glorious!
3. Playdates. Because where else can you tire out your kids without really having to do anything?
2. Oh hell …. Big rigs, farm machinery, airplanes, horse trailers, Hummers, or just about anything thats large, mechanical, and currently moving.
1. Both kids napping at the same time. The holy mecca for parents with more than one child. Words cannot describe the sheer joy of this shining moment when it happens. I’ve honestly got tears in my eyes at the mere thought of it.
Its a simple life, but its my life. What things get you excited, now that you’re a mom?